Kindness and Empathy are things that affect us on an almost hourly basis. We all make choices everyday that have so affect on others whether it be by six degrees of seperation or face to face. I know I see at least two or three people asking for spare change. I usually don't give them anything because I think they are just going to by alcohol or drugs. It is because of a few that I came up with this stereotype of beggers. But, at the same time what else could I do that could benefit the people looking for the help? I was once waiting at a red light in the parking lot of the Santa Rosa Costco and Best Buy, there was a man holding a sign in the median saying he was a war vet and needed any help. I then noticed that the car in front of me waved the guy over, I didn't see the drive of the car hand the man money, but instead it was a book, a Donald Trump how to get rich book to be precise. I actually thought it was a sick joke and so did the vet. As the vet looked like he was about to chuck the book back at the guy the drive told him to open it... inside was a $100 bill! I was shocked, and all of a sudden felt like that could make some change (no pun intended) in his life. I also once worked with a manager at Safeway that would not tell the people out front asking for change to leave but instead brought them in and gave them a soda and what usually chicken strips or jalapano poppers. I know I don't have the resources to give out $100 bills or sodas and fried food, but I could at least hand out a dollar.
I think something that everyone needs to realize is that we are all dependant to some extant. We all know that the majority of us were dependants until out late teens, and then in some wierd circle of life we get to take care of our parents when they get old. But on a larger level we also rely on others. I mean look at school! We couldn't teach ourselves all the things we must know to get our degrees (no matter what we may say while in class). Without professors we would be s.o.l. Then on to another big thing that everyone has and usually needs self-confidence and self-esteem. To me it's just wrong for those to be called "self" when it usually is based off of what we feel and sometimes know other feel about us. Either way we all need the every now and then stroking of our ego. That leads us to the friends and loved ones we rely on to give us this confidence, because without this confidence and esteem, we might quit things we are currently doing or working on. It is because of these reasons that the following qoute sttod out to me: "Self sufficiency is an impossible fantasy." p 30. If we were all self sufficient, things coudl get done every now and than and for a short time before things would go down hill. To me I feel that would also mean not having anyone to boast to or show off earnings, or awards. So all in all I think we all depend on one another, one way or another.
This book has made me give more thought to the act of kindness. I always thought of it as something you just did when the situation arose; more of an instinct. I think of the kindness between a mother and a child, as being instinct. When a child is born, a mother forms a bond, which is very strong and causes her to be kind to the child. As the child gets older, the connection /love grows and this makes them be kind to each other. Parents and teens are usually at odds with one another during the adolescent years. Winicott came to mind when I thought of this example (pgs 90-91). I think the some teens will tell the parents that they hate them, but they don’t mean it. The parents are not usually very fond of their children when they are going through this time period, but they don’t hate them. I see this a development.
ReplyDeleteKindness is a natural act between parents and their children, unless there has been some incident that occurred, or a physiological defect, that would cause this to be otherwise.
I think the general train of thought for some of the early writers (religion and scientist) on kindness had some similarities, (pgs 96-97). It seems that scientists prefer to air on the side of people being so mean and selfish that they would naturally more often than not choose to be unkind. I am more a fan of it being people’s natural nature to be kind first, unless there has been something that made them be otherwise.
Healthcare has been an issue worldwide for a very long time. (Pgs 99-100). Kindness plays a part in the healthcare process. Healthcare is made up of many components; kindness I feel is one the key foundations, i.e. the need to help others. I think in this country, money and greed has effected the direction of healthcare. In a lot of other countries, the need to help others is their basis for the healthcare systems. I’m not quite sure what the best healthcare model is for the US, but we need to include some kindness. The whole idea is to get a better system, that lowers cost, so more people can be helped (receive care). Kindness played a part in starting a healthcare model to provide service to more people long ago; we are now back to the drawing board, essentially trying to do the same thing.
Kindness over time has been favored and in some instances it has not. History has shown that both kind and unkind behavior will affect decision making. ( pgs 105-107). I think that in cases where money and greed run out of control, there will be lots of unkindness. If you get an individual in a powerful position who is unkind, the result could be devastating and lots of people could be hurt as a result; the US in pretty much in this situation now. (pg 102). Taking kindness out of an equation could be to its detrimental to the situation at hand. Look at the current state of our society and economic status, could this be the result of decreased kindness?