Can we be kind and selfless at the same time? No, I don’t think it is possible. If people didn’t depend on me being there and if it didn’t affect my grade, I would not show up. I have a lot of studying to do and sleep to catch up on that I am missing out on by being there. Even though that (in a way) I am being forced to be at County against what I really want/need to do, I get an incredible about out of it. I could skip a day to sleep in without any consequences, but if I do I am setting a bad example for the kids. I get an amazing feeling by setting an example for the kids there. They seem to think I am “cool” and they also know I show up everyday and on time, hopefully that influences them.
Today at County, I was helping a student read through a chapter on the British Tea Party and helping him answer questions about it. In the beginning all I could think about was the test I had to take in an hour and how I could be studying for it. After the student started to read through the book and I could hear him trying really hard, I was all about focusing on him. I was able to use my basic knowledge of reading to help him understand the chapter he was reading out loud to me. I joked around with him and helped him answer the post-reading questions and I couldn’t help but feel good. I was being kind against my own will (in a way) but I got SO much out of it.
I believe that people are naturally kind. No matter what “society” does to us, we still want to be nice and help people. If humans were not naturally kind, we all would have killed each other by now. “Kindness is always hazardous because it is bases on a susceptibility to others,”p.5 if kindness is hazardous, why do we keep doing it? There is something deep within us that asks us to be kind, and most of us follow it religiously. When we checkout at the grocery store, we wait in line (this is kind), when we leave the grocery store we say “thank you: (this is kind), when we pull out of the parking lot, we look around for pedestrians and other cars, (this is also kind). If one really thinks about it, most things we do have kindness dwelling at the root of it.
The author asserts that, “Self sufficiency is an impossible fantasy.” p30. I believe that this is true. No one is self sufficient as a child especially since food and shelter are provided by a parent. After childhood one depends on either teachers in college or on bosses in the working world. No matter if it is a personal or business relationship that you have with a person, you are somewhat dependent on someone. If a person lived in the woods and lived off of the land completely separated from society, they would be dependent on nature to provide food for them and most importantly oxygen. This is far fetched and taken way too far, but think about it, could you truly live a solitary life?
I second your thoughts about selflessness--great insight. Can we be selfless? What would that really look like. Giving is reciprocal and is it selfish of us if we get "feeling good" out of it or if we learn something new about someone else or about ourselves. I agree--selflessness is over-rated because our selves are part of the equation--if we are present then we are participating is some way that involves us!
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